Called to Sacrificial Love
God’s word also calls the husband to be not just a servant leader but also a lover, meaning that the headship of his family is not to exhibit dominating control but the sacrificial love of Jesus.
And how did Christ love when He was on earth? He was single-minded in His mission of love as He spent time with the disciples and communicated with them, teaching them about forgiveness. He also led by example, helping strengthen the disciples where they were weak. He defended the disciples, praised them before the others, and revealed Himself to them. And why did Jesus do these things? It’s because He was concerned about the church’s well-being and future glory.
That is how a husband is to love his wife. A husband represents Jesus in the home, and his role is to bring out God’s glory in his wife and lift her up—for her well-being. This is leadership that leaves a wife feeling special, valued, and loved.
So how specifically can a husband do that? There are many ways, one of the most important being a husband’s putting his wife first over children, parents, siblings, work, TV, and hobbies. Doing this will strengthen a marriage. But conversely, not doing it will weaken the marriage.
Another thing a loving husband can do is learn his wife’s “love language”—in other words, what are the ways she tends to best express and receive love—and package his love in a way that speaks to her and meets her needs.
A husband is also to love his wife unconditionally, the same way God loves all of us. He is not to love her “because she…” but “regardless.” When a husband loves his wife sacrificially and unconditionally, then she more fully realizes God’s love and regard for her, and this in turn brings glory to Him.
God expects us to care for one another. A husband who neglects or demeans his wife robs her of what God wants for her and robs himself of growth and development as well.
What an opportunity a husband has! It’s very much like Jesus’ redemptive work on behalf of the church in that a husband is not to live for himself, but should live to be used as a channel of God’s goodness in his wife’s life. He is to respond, react, speak, and think toward her in ways that enable her to develop who she is and to develop her gifts as a way to bring glory to God.
God Bless You
Pastor Versal Mason